International Cub
International Cub
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I remember having a first date with a man once. There was already mutual attraction when we met at a theatrical play. He was sitting behind me and paid me a compliment. "Death of a Salesman" was pretty much a downer, so I occupied my mind by thinking about the man sitting behind me.
So he got my number and called. He picked me up. We went out and had a lovely evening. On the way home, he said,"I want you to know a little about me, in case we decide to have a relationship. I will treat you with respect and do my best to communicate honestly with you, show up on time, keep my word to you and do whatever I can do to make the relationship work... regardless of the nature or direction the relationship takes. But I expect the same in return. Are you ok with that and do you agree to do the same?"
No one had ever been that "up front" with me before, but I found comfort in the fact that this man had boundaries and limitations and was confident enough to spell it out from the get go. He knew who he was. He was clearly defined and could articulate that well. It let me know that I had an option to accept or reject him and any potential relationship up front without confusion, wasting time or wondering what the deal was going to be. Spelling out who he was helped me determine what I wanted without wasting time.
So, how do you think you would have responded if you had been in my shoes? Would you prefer the up front talk? Have you ever told someone on a first date what the parameters are? Is this a good idea?
Dr. Fayr Barkley, Ph.D. is The Uber Cougar Expert Roars! and the world's foremost expert on Cougar and Cub dating. With over 20 years formal research into younger men dating older women, Dr. Barkley is a human behavior researcher who owns http://www.CougarInternational.com a Cougar dating site with members from around the world. Dr. Barkley is sought out by international media for her expertise on Cougar dating and advises men and women worldwide on dating, relationships and marriage. She can be reached at: cougarsandcubs@aol.com.
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